we break and mend eachother
by slow motion suicide
Summary: Isn't it strange how love can be the happiest thing ever, but also cause the most pain? And yet everyone keeps trying to reach for it. All human. AU.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own these characters. They belong to L.J. Smith/The CW.

**A/N**: This is the first part of a 5 parts project. The stories can be read separately since they don't have anything to do with eachother. 

_**"You said you would love me until you die, but as far as I know you're still alive."**_ (Shakira- _Illegal_) 

It's the night of her (their) wedding and everything is just so fucking perfect that Caroline has to ask her friend Elena to hit her with a spoon, because _she must be dreaming_.

"I always knew your wedding would be fit for a princess. I just never expected him to be your Prince Charming."

"You and me both, honey. You and me both…"

* * *

Her ex boyfriend turned best guy friend Matt makes the wedding toast and upon seeing him onstage, looking every bit the perfect gentleman tha he is she can't help but think about how far they've come. The whole gang- they are are practically adults now: they have jobs and houses and they've long since swapped clubbing and binge drinking with dinner parties and organical food and if that's not mature, then she doesn't know what mature is… Her husband (ohmygosh, Bonnie, I am going to have a HUSABND!) squeezes her hand under the table and as Matt finishes his speech she has come to the conclusion that she has the perfect life.

To Caroline and Damon!

_To Caroline and Damon!_

* * *

Five days since she has become a married woman and Caroline Salvatore is already a domestic goddess. Buying furniture, talking with her neighbors about the best cleaning products and making chocolate éclairs- it's all so new and exciting. She's in the kitchen, humming to herself while chopping some parsley when she senses Damon entering the room and that alone brings a smile to her lips. He wraps his arms around her waist and breaths in the sweet scent of vanilla and jasmine that has become her trademark (she doesn't tell him that she started wearing this perfume after he told her he loved vanilla ice cream).

"-Husband and wife…" he whispers, letting her head fall against his shoulder.

"-That's what the priest said." she giggles.

"-My wife." he drawls. "_Mine_."

"-Until death do us part." She whispers against his mouth and she believes every single world she said.

* * *

He's working so much these days, but Caroline isn't mad (It's for his _family, Bonnie! _she explains to her friend, feeling just a little bit guilty about throwing this in poor-single-Bonnie's face). Late at night, when he arrives, he finds her in their bed, reading.

"-You shouldn't have stayed up so late for me." He caresses her cheek. "Why did you leave the lamp on downstairs? You have developed a habit of doing that lately… Why is it?"

"-So that you know that I'm always going to wait for you."

* * *

"-Where's Damon?" A pregnant Elena greets her with a confused face and a giant belly. It's Stefan's birthday and they're having a little get together at their house.

"-He's very sorry, but he couldn't come. He's working."

"-_Oh_." And she might as well have slapped her across the face. She knows what that "oh" means. It's the "you-husband-is-working-late-again-because-he-is-having-an-affair" type of "oh". But Elena of all people can't (won't) see her actually doubting her husband.

"-Here, I've brought pie!" she grins with fake enthusiasm and then brushes past Elena in the living room. Her husband and her are just f-i-n-e and she'll make sure that everybody knows it.

* * *

"-Remember when he first met?" she asks as she idly plays with her wedding ring.

"-Of course I do."

"-It wasn't exactly love at first sight, was it?"

"-Love at first sight is over rated. What we have is so much better." He kisses the top of her head and she has the strangest urge to cry.

"-Yes, it is." She says to him. To herself.

* * *

One time he doesn't return home until four o'clock in the morning. When he enters the bedroom she is sitting in their bed, her back perfectly still and her hands resting in her lap. Dark circles under eyes and her lips are set in a tight line and he knows that she's been crying.

"-Caroline, I'm really sorry." He runs a hand through his hair and slowly sits down next to her. She makes no move, just sits there, almost unblinking. He places his had atop of hers and all but shudders when he touches her ice cold skin. "Are you okay?" he asks in a small voice and Damon Salvatore never, _never _uses that tone of voice.

"-I'm fine." she croaks. "Are you hungry, babe?" she asks, trying to sounds cheerfull but the smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. And she still won't look at him.

* * *

His work is taking up more and more time in his life but he promises that once he saves enough money everything will be just like in the beginning. She remembers that sunny afternoon , just a couple of days after their wedding and nods her head because God, she wants it back.

* * *

He buys her flowers so often these days. She hugs him and kisses him and then they have dinner and then they have sex and then they go to bed. They've been having lots of sex lately, now that she thinks about it. Could it be that their marriage has overcome their first rough period as a couple? Of course that it did, she thinks, and mentally scolds herself for thinking that he was tired of her. Couple life is full of ups and downs, but they're strong, they'll survive. They _promised_.

* * *

The next day she finds a note in his pocket. With a phone number on it. And "Last night was hot. Let's do it again. Chelsea" written on it. _Oh_. It's that kind of oh. She never knew guilt sex and I-want-everything-to-be-good-between-us-again sex were so similar. But she's Caroline and he's Damon and she can't let him go because she wouldn't be Caroline otherwise. So she tucks the note back in his pocket and goes to the bedroom to pack his bags for his next trip.

* * *

She tries so fucking hard to be everything he could ever want. She's a lady when they go out, a maid around the house, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in bed. Just once, she asks him what does he need that he can't find next to her. He freezes in his chair at the table but slowly recovers himself.

"-It's not your fault. There's nothing you can do."

* * *

"-Hi, this is the Salvatore residence. Caroline and Damon are not home now, so please leave a message."

"-Hey, Car, I feel like an ass telling this to you, but I don't think I'll make it home in time for your mom's birthday. I'm really, really sorry babe… I'll call you later, okay…. Bye."

* * *

She stops leaving the kitchen lights on about a year after their wedding. She realizes that no matter how many lamps she turns on he will never find his way back to her again.


End file.
